Possibility and probability

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Possibilities and probabilities is simple, basic mathematics.
In any given situation you have options, every single option is an Event.
Each event has a certain probability given many different variables and the likelihood of its occurrence.
but the possibility of one particular event of occuring is sheer luck.
Just because something could happen, it doesn't mean that it necessarily will.
Every thing in the world is possible, but just because it's possible doesn't mean that it's probable.

we all go through those times when we have to chose. When we're in direct combat with all our options, where we must act on the spot and choose something.
We have hundreds, thousands of choices to make, but we're never aware of this fact, we don't have enough perception to comprehend their drastic impact on our lives.

one choice can change you,
one choice can define you.
it could be something as big as choosing your major at collage,
it could be something as trivial as the shirt you're going to wear today, or whether you'll have breakfast or not.
or if you will go out today or stay home.
it could be something hidden and buried deep, like the way you carry yourself around people.
every missed opportunity is one that could lead to a whole new experience.
and every step you take, is one that will determine your path.
I always try to take as many steps as I can,
constantly moving, never in the same spot,
Even if it meant going back or heading in a different direction. 

My faith in my self is fragile, easy to faze.
but miracles happen everyday, that's what I tell myself before I go to bed.
As I am lying down, as the most weird and random thoughts invade my mind.
As my worries of the future collide with the regrets of my past, they crash into each other after running on full speed, their momentum causing an enormous blinding yet silent explosion.
All I can do is watch.
as these thoughts- poisonous or not- flow in my neurons.
somehow, with effect more powerful than caffeine, keeping me awake for hours, messing up my sleeping schedule, messing up my mind.

The world is quite tonight.
Everything is so calm and quiet.
there isn't single gust of wind, even the crickets decided against squealing.
Everything is so painfully dull and silent.
I think and think and think.

I weigh down every option, every decision.
I try to listen to my heart and mind and conscious,
I try not to let one of them take the lead on another's expense.
and I hope against all odds, that I am doing the right things.

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