Beast in the beauty.

-
I was a child once,
I wasn't the monster you see now.
I had beautiful white wings and my heart was a delicate rose.
Now I lost my wings, and my heart is nothing but thorns.
I'm hollow.
I pretend and lie everyday, not just to people around me, but mostly to myself.
and they're not white harmless lies.

I'm scared and scarred.
I'm buried deep within,
distant, in a place no one is allowed in, ever.
you claim to know me, but you only know what I let you know.
you only see what I show,
I warned you many times before but it never fazed you.
you still think you can be a hero, and you found your perfect subject.
an invisible broken girl,
you only noticed a glint of me and now you think it's enough,
you only saw a fraction of how damaged I am, and the destruction I carry inside me, and you think you can handle it.
you think you can handle me, or even fix me,
you think you got me figured out.
but all you know is glimpse of me.

my sweet boy,
you think the numbness of your heart can neutralize the turbulence of my heart.
but you didn't count the casualties of this war or what the price might be.
you wanted to plant flowers in me, but I'm nothing but a graveyard.
You saw my innocence and ignored my rage,
you heard my sweet whispers and overlooked my hateful screams,
you touched my soft skin, not bothered by the sharp spikes that will rip you to shreds.

you think I can love you,
you believe all that.
and I feel sorry for you.
for actually believing that I needed you,
I didn't, but God knows how much I wanted you,
with all my our heart, or what's left of it..
because I don't trust my heart anymore, I don't trust your words anymore.

and I can't give you that.
not my heart.

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