Malevolence.

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As much I hate to admit it, as much as I hate acknowledging it as a real valid thing, I admit that I hate you.
I do, with all my heart, or whatever pieces left of it.
it's quite ironic actually, when I think about it, how the person who filled once with love is the same one to fill you with poisoning hatred. How you enjoy daydreaming about them and just the mere thinking about them made your hart pound with ecstasy, but now it just multiple merciless punches directly hurting you.
thinking about him sends sharpeners of anger in my bloodstream, cutting me from the inside and I bleed and bleed and my body bruises and my hearts bruises and I can't seem to make it stop.
many memories and moments are crafted inside my head, proving that time may not heal anything.
it's been one hundred and twenty six days, not that I was counting, it comes naturally to me, like a bad habit that I can't brush off.

I hate you for so many reasons, I already made could make a list, but why even bother? it doesn't change a thing. it doesn't change that you happened to me, it doesn't change that I still dream of you sometimes, and that I think of you and I can't cry because I want you, but I can't.
I only miss you, and I hate you for it.
I fell in love with you, and I hate you for it.
I aged a thousand years since you walked out of my life, leaving the door open, letting the storms and tornadoes ruin me without even looking back.
because I saw the truth about you in the way you chose to leave me, and sometimes it makes me wounder, have I ever been right about anything when it came to you at all ?"


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