Fairy tale.

When I met you I thought I found my prince charming, the one that will swipe me off my feat, I thought that I found my eternal sunshine and my elixir of happiness.  
Brown was never my favorite color but I was smitten by your warm melted-chocolate brown eyes, they became my favorite thing in the entire world. 
There are many things that fairy tales have never told us,  
Villains aren't always the bad guys, happily ever after isn't destined for everyone, 
And dreams have a way of turning into nightmares.
You were just a dream. 
A beautiful and a brief reverie. 
 I can't quite place the moment we lost it all, but at least we tried, I was a pilot that has never landed and you were afraid of flying, and still, we tried to make it work.
I thought we were a fortress, but turns out we were a card house and all it took was one shaken card to tear us down. 
You have murdered every beautiful part of me, chocked them with your bare hands, you drained me of my colors and left me with a gray aura that I have to live with now.
Burnt out things aren't supposed to reignite,
so tell me why seeing you wakes up a million feeling inside me?
so tell me why do I still hear your voice in my dreams, why do I still see your face so vividly as if you were lying next to me?
tell me why my heart still slams against my ribs when I hear your name?
losing you hurts, I can feel it with every single beat of my heart. 
every passing minute is seventy anvils crushing me. 
could it have been all lies? Was I deluded into loving you?
I spend so much time dwelling on the past and wondering where did we go wrong or why did we go wrong and I can't seem to find an answer. 
I know that at some point my memory will fade, that it will become as faint as the smell of your cologne, and I pray every night that tomorrow is the day I'm liberated from you. 
I am trying to let you go, I am trying to choose to let you go but I know I can't choose which parts of me would leave with you. 
I am so scared of a life filled with your absence. 
And no matter how much I try, I can't seem to fully accept it. 
But I saw you two days ago and you looked at me and not a spark of recognition flickered in your eyes and I died at little bit inside.
Now I am just a breathing corpse, a shadow of what I was.
Sometimes I hope that things are going to go back to the way that they were, and I am not sure whether I want that because I miss you or I miss how things were with you. 
Other times I hope a lump the size of my wounded heart swells in your throat every time you think of me, 
Just to know if I ever really mattered.
I know that one day you'l listen to a song, all worked up about sharing it with me for a split second then you'll remember that I'm gone and I hope it dims your light. 
Because I broke all my rules for me, yet you broke me. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

mirror

The apartment

The Quest.