White Flag

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In complete submission,
I wave my white flag.
Before you blame me, hear my story, or walk a mile in my shoes.
or you know what? never mind.
it doesn't matter anymore.
I am giving up, and for the first time in my life I'm taking a step back instead of throwing myself in.  Because I know what's waiting on the other side,
mass chaos and complete destruction, I can't live in constant war.
That's why I don't want you anymore.
I've seen how battles changes people, I've seen the aftermath and casualties that these kind of wars leave behind,
and I have been through enough already, you of all people know.
Sometimes I think it wasn't even about you, I don't want to take the blame, but it's not your fault that I don't know how to be loved. it's not your mistake that I fall without parachutes,
I'd rather lose my heart rather than losing my mind while trying to find answers, trying to wrap it around the fact that I wasn't enough, I can convince it with that logically, and all I can do is retreat.
I lost enough already, and I know that what I will never find what I'm looking for.
I carve that on the walls of my heart as I drag my feat all the way back.

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