mirror, mirror...
you stare at those set of piercing cold eyes in your reflection.
They don't seem familiar at all. So distant and secluded like they're not even your own.
you stare blankly in desperation for answers, for the questions you are afraid to ask.
You stare, and stare and stare...
an inevitable confrontation, you have to go through this at some point.
You're waiting for answers.
they ooze out of you, stinky and rotten.
maybe you asked the wrong questions, to begin with, maybe it was just about time to accept what you've tried to ignore for so long.
You always thought that if you stack your fears and insecurities in jars and put them on high shelves out of your reach they would stay there forever.
You overlooked the fact that they're still there. Their mere existence and presence is more than enough to unnerve you.
You carry them around like sins waiting for a salivation that might never come.
You learned how to carry them around silently without making a squeak, not wanting to draw attention to your clamor.
and you're not sure what to fight, the monsters under your bed or the demons inside your head.
you're not certain whether you should fight at all or just cave in to them.
You want to open up and blossom,
What's the usefulness of a magnificent evergreen garden if no one was allowed within ten miles radius?
but you've let people in before, and all they did was rattling your gates and plucking your flowers, making a huge mess out of your tranquil and peaceful shelter.
You want to let people in,
but something about giving them keys, trusting them enough, making yourself exposed to the storms is unsettling and frighting.
To be vulnerable and weak and fragile.
To tear down your walls with wrecking balls, to remove your layers one by one, to let them in your rib cage, not fully certain whether they'll cradle your heart or just toss it around.
It takes a lot of bravery to do so.
And you're a coward.
You tell yourself that's it going to be okay, not believing it for a second.
You tell yourself that you can't expect someone to love what you are when you can't even accept it, but you don't buy it either.
You blame yourself for the intimidating shade of your eyes, and the warning signs you hang every where.
This way you're safe.
and most of time it's never enough, but you don't have any other option.
They don't seem familiar at all. So distant and secluded like they're not even your own.
you stare blankly in desperation for answers, for the questions you are afraid to ask.
You stare, and stare and stare...
an inevitable confrontation, you have to go through this at some point.
You're waiting for answers.
they ooze out of you, stinky and rotten.
maybe you asked the wrong questions, to begin with, maybe it was just about time to accept what you've tried to ignore for so long.
You always thought that if you stack your fears and insecurities in jars and put them on high shelves out of your reach they would stay there forever.
You overlooked the fact that they're still there. Their mere existence and presence is more than enough to unnerve you.
You carry them around like sins waiting for a salivation that might never come.
You learned how to carry them around silently without making a squeak, not wanting to draw attention to your clamor.
and you're not sure what to fight, the monsters under your bed or the demons inside your head.
you're not certain whether you should fight at all or just cave in to them.
You want to open up and blossom,
What's the usefulness of a magnificent evergreen garden if no one was allowed within ten miles radius?
but you've let people in before, and all they did was rattling your gates and plucking your flowers, making a huge mess out of your tranquil and peaceful shelter.
You want to let people in,
but something about giving them keys, trusting them enough, making yourself exposed to the storms is unsettling and frighting.
To be vulnerable and weak and fragile.
To tear down your walls with wrecking balls, to remove your layers one by one, to let them in your rib cage, not fully certain whether they'll cradle your heart or just toss it around.
It takes a lot of bravery to do so.
And you're a coward.
You tell yourself that's it going to be okay, not believing it for a second.
You tell yourself that you can't expect someone to love what you are when you can't even accept it, but you don't buy it either.
You blame yourself for the intimidating shade of your eyes, and the warning signs you hang every where.
This way you're safe.
and most of time it's never enough, but you don't have any other option.
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