Paradigm shift

In a year or two, none of this will matter.
It might take longer than you expect, or maybe it won't take as long as you might think it would, after all, time is a man made concept, and anticipation seems to alters the duration of waiting for things to end or begin.

There are a few things, though, that would help you endure the following sufferings, 
The suffering of maybe...
The uncertainty..
The doubts creeping up on you every day, every minute, every second...
The potent yet pale fear of not ever being who you want to be and that all your efforts and attempts are futile and the you will never be enough...
The unfamiliarity of how cruel and uneducated or indifferent you are some times,
The strangeness of your own self some times,
Or how you tuck your flaws and enemies safely in your bed every night, snoring, non bothered and insolent, not allowing you a good night sleep.

The enormity of these things will overwhelm you, at some days, I am not going to lie to you.
These little inconveniences, you will carry around as a part of your existence, fighting them, battling them, winning once and losing many other times.
It will be exhausting, I warn you, some days you wouldn't want to leave your bed or face your own reflection.
If you're lucky, you'll have someone who will notice, you'll have someone by your side, holding a big cheering sign with your name on it in a messy handwriting, screaming with raspy voices even when they're worn out by the weight of their own troubles. They will be there.
And it will soothe you, it will help walk another step towards what you want.
It will support you when don't find the will in yourself.
But if you don't, you can always rely on yourself, and here is the tricky part, because it's easier to quit on yourself and to stop believing, it is easier to shut yourself down and believe the voices in your head.
It will be easier for you to stop trying, and to settle for what's less than you deserve.
At days like this, be gentle to yourself.
Don't push yourself to the pint of breaking.
I know that it's always easier to be kinder to others than yourself,
And it's easier to forgive others than forgiving yourself,
But you deserve this forgiveness, you deserve to know that you are worth it, that your dreams are worth all the pain and suffering.
That you're just a pupa, and one day, one day, you'll be free.