Silent prayers.

when you fall in love with someone there are only few things that you can see in them,
you can only see how charming their laugh is and how the butterflies in your stomach never stop fluttering,
you don't see the way their hands shake with rage when they are angry, or the look of resentment in their eyes when they hate someone's gut.

when you fall in love with someone there are only a few things that you can imagine,
you imagine yourself pressed against them, sleeping soundly, you imagine yourself making breakfast and singing off-key with them,
you don't imagine the day the way they spit venomous words towards ruthlessly, or how much they can hurt you or if they're willing to do it,
the idea of them dropping your heart, throwing it away and stepping on it is not fathomable to you.

 You might have your speculations, but you know that we are human and no one is perfect,
you forgive them over and over, because that what love is? isn't it?
it's the most painful heartbreak, the sleepless nights, the fights, the hurtful words, the mistakes and the lies, everything you didn't expect, right?

how could you know, though?
all you wanted was someone to love you, someone who would hold your hand and never let go first, someone who sees your ugliness and accepts it.
For once, you just want someone to make you feel less alone, less irrelevant, to make you feel like your existence is important.
and you keep on praying, after all the times your heart broke, and all the pieces you lost of yourself,
you still pray,
and I hope this happens to you someday.