Wilted Words

when someone asks me what's my biggest fear, I stop for a second before answering. because as much as heights scare me, or drowning, they don't are not my worst fears. I don't know how to explain it accurately, but I've seen it happen a million times, I've heard about it a lot. I've learned that people fall out of love just as easy as falling in it, for the same reasons. That their lover's endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise, that their sense of humor is now childish and immature and their bad habits that you once adored is now anchoring burdens. Their impulsive actions are reckless and irresponsible and their placidity is coming from their cold and distant hearts. Their coffee mugs on your table (not in the sink) or their legs on your dash is no longer cute but annoying, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing frightens me more than this. The idea that I can become ugly to someone who saw a universe in my heart a...

I am depressed. And unlike most of depressed people, I am going to admit it, perhaps that's the key to solving problems, isn't it? Acknowledging them first, then looking for solutions.  My therapist told me that my aura is a changing blue, she told me that in order to overcome my 'illness' I must change it into other warm hues, shades of orange or red or yellow.  But right now, I'm all different shades of blue.  I am a light blue, when I'm around people , and in crowded places, or in parties where I don't recognise a face, indifferent, dim and quite.  I am a dark blue, when I'm all alone and lost in...

Many people talk about how your first heartbreak is your worst. but what they forget to mention is how your second is even worse than your first. Because this time you were more careful, more prepared, you did everything the right way and it still didn't work. you changed your ways and avoided all the mistakes you did with the previous person you loved and still it turned out wrong. You collected your fragmented heart, and tried to build a home for someone else with it, soon enough you realised that you built a fortress and locked yourself in. Don't try to blame it on anyone else, not even yourself, not the world or timing or this universe that you live in. Don't try to hold on too tight to this hemp rope, it will burn your hands. Stop reading his letters, there is no room for more papercuts, they'll wound your heart. Stop searching for yourself in his words, or for what truths or lies ,might be hidden in his eyes. and if you want ot break down, ...

I know how you feel now, trust me on this.  I know that you tell yourself that you;re not good enough, just average and quite ordinary, that it no one can love you, because if they don't mess it up, you will.  you tell yourself that so many times that you almost believe it. but then you have forgotten, that the best thing about love is that it happens unexpectedly.  totally unplanned, completely sudden, as if it's out of nowhere.  who knows?  you might meet someone tomorrow while getting your groceries, or five years from now when you're borrowing a book from the library. you'll meet someone who will teach you how to play chess or what a penalty is a soccer game means, someone with an identical music taste but with an opposite taste in movies.  someone who will see the beauty of your smile and remind you of your worth.   and when you finally meet them, you'll be ready, and it will scare you, but deep down you know that this is what you ...

I remember that story you told me once, about a caterpillar that you tried to save between you hands but you crushed it instead. and that is exactly what you did to me. You put me in a box with 'fragile glass' written with black marker on it and you did it to protect me from yourself. You belive death and destruction is all what you're capable of. But I never had the chance to prove you wrong.