Algophobia

"don't worry you'll be okay, a few months from now non of this will matter"
but what about now?
what about the fact that it's been months and everything is still the same? unfazed by the passing of time.
unaffected by any of the forces that washed over it?
but pain isn't a polite guest.
it's not the kind of visitors that would leave when it's unwanted.
you ignore its presence and ask it to leave quietly, you scream and cry your eyes out, your heart ripping to shred as you beg and plead your pain to go, your body drained from all the effort of kicking it out.
but it doesn't even budge.

you barely scratch the surface, barely snatch the lid,
because every time you chicken out,
you almost dare to peek at your sorrows, although, you don't know what it looks like or how big it is and it horrifies you.
you're scared that it will swallow you.

so you postpone your pain,
you pile it up, and bury it inside, neglecting the horror of its shadows, pretending to be blind to its remnants,
acting like you can't hear the rattling noise your pain creates each once and while, demanding your attention.

you bury it deeper and further in the graveyard of your heart, hoping that somehow you'd lose it and it wouldn't belong to you anymore.
but burring things doesn't make them disappear.
it's still there, and if you insist on avoiding it,
it will resist and and resist until it's strong and big enough,
ut will multiply and reproduce,
until it's the only thing you'd ever feel.