In between.
We were sitting on your car's trunk once, staring at the moon silently, it was so mesmerising, so soothing to look at, you took a strand of my hair absentmindedly, and twirled it around your finger slowly, you asked me what I am thinking about, I bit my lip and smiled, I tried to arrange my words into intelligible sentences, because that simple thing you did made my heart tighten with feelings.
I didn't dare to look at your face then. But it was all falling into order, I started seeing the real picture, like jigsaw pieces that didn't make sense until they're put together.
I saw you.
The one you hid away for too long from everyone, the one you masked and managed to tame like some kind of a beast you locked inside you.
I know how hard you still try, but in those brief moments that you allow yourself some vulnerability and loss of control, I saw you.
I saw how much you can care, and how it messed you up.
I saw how intense your love is, and how it scares you like a claustrophobic locked and trapped in a closet.
I saw how delicate your wings are, and that you're exhausted from all the migration with no destination or reason. I saw how tired you are of seeking shelters within human hearts, and how you fatigued your shins were from running away. I saw your bottomless pit where all your secrets lie.
I tripped and I fell.
I still didn't reach for a solid ground with you and maybe I never will.
But God knows I tried,
I tried to be the one to undo you, to unravel you.
I wanted yo see the glimpse of sunshine hidden in your chest. I wanted to hide in the safety and stillness of your darkness.
and I still do, but it's all up to you.
I look at the moon, and at this particular moment I gather all my strengths to look at you, and I see the truth buzzing in your aura and beaming from your face.
and I knew....
I didn't dare to look at your face then. But it was all falling into order, I started seeing the real picture, like jigsaw pieces that didn't make sense until they're put together.
I saw you.
The one you hid away for too long from everyone, the one you masked and managed to tame like some kind of a beast you locked inside you.
I know how hard you still try, but in those brief moments that you allow yourself some vulnerability and loss of control, I saw you.
I saw how much you can care, and how it messed you up.
I saw how intense your love is, and how it scares you like a claustrophobic locked and trapped in a closet.
I saw how delicate your wings are, and that you're exhausted from all the migration with no destination or reason. I saw how tired you are of seeking shelters within human hearts, and how you fatigued your shins were from running away. I saw your bottomless pit where all your secrets lie.
I tripped and I fell.
I still didn't reach for a solid ground with you and maybe I never will.
But God knows I tried,
I tried to be the one to undo you, to unravel you.
I wanted yo see the glimpse of sunshine hidden in your chest. I wanted to hide in the safety and stillness of your darkness.
and I still do, but it's all up to you.
I look at the moon, and at this particular moment I gather all my strengths to look at you, and I see the truth buzzing in your aura and beaming from your face.
and I knew....
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