Wilted Words

She's a book, with ripped out pages, with smudged ink in her folds , and crossed out sentences. I desperately want my hand on her spine. I touch it gingerly, and I can  feel  how  rigid and strong her spine is. I can feel the cracks in it, and I can tell she's tired from being strong.  My fingertips skim through her pages, and they're soft, so soft and thin and delicate, like petals.  they're softer than the words scratched on the surface. Some of the pages are ripped out, some of them have blurry writing, barely legible  that I cannot make out a single word. As I read through her I start to see, now I can see the reason behind her roughness. I know that she is hoping, that maybe someday someone will love her as much as she hates herself. And I want her to know that I love her, so I wrote it in faded pencil on the corner of a page, hoping that a part of her will always know, so she'll always carry it within her. I try to read between her lines, m...

There are flowers in my hair, I wore my favorite dress, all these are attempts to hide that I am a mess. I didn't plan for this to happen, I didn't ask for this. There are stars in your eyes, I see you coming my way, you ask if I am okay, and I can't really tell, because the words you say, make my heart go downhill, even if it's a simple hi, or flashing a small smile. I can't find reasons, I can't tell why. I threw a hundred coins, and made the same wish, like a holy prayer, I tell no one else. The time we have together is always fun, the things I tell you, I tell no one, you know the truth behind my lies, even when I put my best disguise, you know I say I am tired when I'm just sad, you see potential in me I didn't know I had. you think you know me, you believe you do, So why am I crying, do you have a clue? I haven't slept for a week, and my heart is fragile and weak I can't do this anymore. you rendered me, an...

you're finally here, I'm glad you're here, you finally made it, but my death is so near. not miles away, but breaths away, it's taking me home, so I'm no longer astray. it's getting harder for me to stay, I'm choking on this ice chipped air. Doors of hell are breaking loose, and now I've got nothing to lose, I've been waiting, I've been wanting, but you're a split second late, after I locked all the gates, I've waited at the station for a train, to pick me up to someplace safe, instead it hit me, and I'm nothing but pain, here comes the train, there goes my pain. and it won't leave without me. I wanted to say goodbye, I just didn't know how, I lost my words, along with my voice, I promise you I didn't have a choice, I lost all my battles, and I hope that you can tell, by all the scars and demons, by how many times I fell, and I can no longer stand it, for there isn't one solid ground. I lost, I...

I don't know how we became from the first place, and I don't remember the moment our hearts collided making a big explosion, creating a new universe. But I know it just happened, Why and When and how are a bunch of blurs I can't quite distinguish. All I know is that we are something now, something that I can't quite identify. Our beginning was an inevitable storm that we couldn't have anticipated or run away from. It was a spark that set both our hearts on dazzling fire that protected us from the coldness and cruelness of the world. Everyone was baffled by us, wherever we went we set an example for real contemporary love. We were the kind of love that's rare, the kind that you encounter once in your lifetime, It was a coincidence, but you were the the best chance I stumbled upon. Our friends envied us, do you remember before we started dating how everyone thought we were already a couple? We are were happy. Everything we did together had meaning, no matter...

We were sitting on your car's trunk once, staring at the moon silently, it was so mesmerising, so soothing to look at, you took a strand of my hair absentmindedly, and twirled it around your finger slowly, you asked me what I am thinking about, I bit my lip and smiled, I tried to arrange my words into intelligible sentences, because that simple thing you did made my heart tighten with feelings. I didn't dare to look at your face then. But it was all falling into order, I started seeing the real picture, like jigsaw pieces that didn't make sense until they're put together. I saw you. The one you hid away for too long from everyone, the one you masked and managed to tame like some kind of a beast you locked inside you. I know how hard you still try, but in those brief moments that you allow yourself some vulnerability and loss of control, I saw you. I saw how much you can care, and how it messed you up. I saw how intense your love is, and how it scares you like a cl...