something to keep in mind.

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Don't fall in love with her,
don't fall for this timid peacefull shell of hers, it's nothing but a safety blanket she carries around.
don't fall for this girl, whose eyes are wide open but sees nothing.
Don't fall for someone who's living but not alive.
There is a whole world out there waiting for you, don't wait for her to wake up out of her coma.
she won't text you first, she'll never call you to hang out. She desperately wants to hear your voice, but she won't.
you'll have to double your existence, in order to fill the void within her, something she'll never ask from you.
She thinks that it's such a misfortune for you that your path crossed her, and that you didn't just look away. one day she'd tell you that you are the air she's breathing, but the next day she wouldn't answer your calls.
she's driving you crazy but you never get tired of her.
because she's just a bunch of insecurities clustered together in bones and veins, in a human form.
She will look at the mirror and only see the stretch marks on her sides,
and the faded cuts on her wrists, you'll tell her she's beautiful, and marvel at how mesmerizing her eyes are, you'll tell her that you see a whole universe within her, she wouldn't truly believe it, but she'll smile anyway, a smile so wide, the size of Jupiter, you'll kiss that smile because you wanted to do it for a while, and as her soft lips press against yours she'll pull away and ask you to leave.
you wouldn't, she hopes you wouldn't.
she doesn't want you to love her she needs you to love her she's not worth your time, but she wishes she was.
she wants to make you happy instead of consuming you, instead of draining you, sucking the life out of you, she doesn't want to be a parasite, when all you do is trying to revive life into her.
by watering her with your love until she blossoms.
she will lie in your arms and pour herself into you, hoping that she wouldn't make a mess, that she wouldn't scare you away, or that her silence wouldn't push you away, she hopes against all odds, that you'd stay.
and when you finally decide to tell her that you love her please don't hesitate, because she'll notice your hesitation and read into it, as a sign.
and she won't say it back.
she'll lose sleep, thinking for hours and hours, why her?
why you chose her?
of all the flowers you saw in the garden why did you decide to pick the wilting one?
she'll think that, maybe you pitty her, and that you think of her as a broken vase that you can glue it back together and make it brand new, even better than it was before.
like a charity case.
She wants to be perfect, for you, because she's never enough.
she didn't do anything to deserve you.
because she gave up on herself, because she couldn't love the person she is.
she prayed for you to happen.
you are nothing but a miracle to her.
she loves you with all the pieces of her smashed heart.
she knows that there will be times when you run out of patience.
when you start to think that you're wasting your time.
at that exact moment you wouldn't hold back any of your love for her.
she will give you the world, just give her time.
time to unravel,
to show you her real colors,
to find her way to you.



- I'm sorry you fell in love with a sad girl

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