Wilted Words

Gather those fragments of glass, throw them away out of my reach gather those soft feathers , of a black swan and sew them together make it a neclace or a halter, lead me to that beach where you built a fortris, hold me a captive, wilingly I make an oath I'll never breach leave me in the darkness of your safe chasm your sacred dungen tucked away in the shades but never forget about me, for I'll always be there waiting for you, I won't leave.

I want to drive with you in silence, and set with you on our living room's floor discussing things that matter and things that don't for hours. I want to witness your moments of triumph and happiness, when you can't suppress your goofy smile. and I want to be there for you when sadness wrap itself around your heart, making it hard for you to breathe without coughing out tears and hurtful sobs. I want to be the first thing you lay an eye on when you wake up. and the last thing you think of before you fall asleep. I want to see you sleeping soundly, breathing steadily, I want to watch you as your chest goes up and down, I want to study your peaceful features, memorize your drowsy smile. I want to explore this world with you, and create a new one of our own, I want to know you. I want to know you better than yourself. I want to know every freckle, every scar, every silly childhood dream you had, and every serious ambition you have. I want to know what scares you the ...

I don't know how it started, how I started viewing everything I do as some sort of a mistake, I always felt guilty, as if the global warming was somehow my mistake, as if it was my responsibility to fix everything, because somehow I caused it, as if there was always something wrong, as if I had some sort of a magical powers, or an invisible wand that could fix all the mess.  I've always been apologetic, and sorry about being apologetic, For stepping on a stranger's foot, I was in a rush and didn't really see where I was stepping. For not contacting my friends, I know it has been weeks, but I'm sorry. For not trying my best, I did try, but you think that I could've done better. For talking a lot, and for not saying much. For who I am. For how I look. For what I do, For what I didn't do. For what I like doing, because I'd rather read a book than hanging around people whom company I don't enjoy. For preferring t...

Don't fall in love with her, don't fall for this timid peacefull shell of hers, it's nothing but a safety blanket she carries around. don't fall for this girl, whose eyes are wide open but sees nothing. Don't fall for someone who's living but not alive. There is a whole world out there waiting for you, don't wait for her to wake up out of her coma. she won't text you first, she'll never call you to hang out. She desperately wants to hear your voice, but she won't. you'll have to double your existence, in order to fill the void within her, something she'll never ask from you. She thinks that it's such a misfortune for you that your path crossed her, and that you didn't just look away. one day she'd tell you that you are the air she's breathing, but the next day she wouldn't answer your calls. she's driving you crazy but you never get tired of her. because she's just a bunch of insecurities clustered tog...

we are born and then we are taught many different things, things I can't even count to begin with. and then we grow, and still we learn along the way, some of the things we learn are useful and there are things that teaches us lessons, changes us. no one teaches us how to change, but we do. whether we like it or not, we do. Sometimes these changes are good, you quit a bad habit, you get rid of toxic people, eliminate them from your life, you start hitting the gym or eating in a healthy way, and sometimes it's the other way around. But that's not the kind of changes I'm talking about. I'm talking about change as a natural process, the way day merges into night, transforming the clear blue sky into a black carpet with dots of light all over. how seasons change, how summer is so vibrant and green, how it fades away into a dull cool form, where the trees lose their ornament, but then it withdraws and turns into a cold hearted weather, with liquid nitrogen running...

It isn't night. and it isn't late, I hope. but this thought -question- or the swarm of those thoughts and questions, are always there, never leaving me to have a moment of peace.   I don't know what triggers them, really I don't, if I did maybe I could stop these thoughts from hitting me the way tides fiercely hit the shores.    maybe they're buried deep within me, and they're constantly provoked by what people tell me, provoked to be unleashed.  I don't know what to do with them, to keep on suppressing them or to acknowledge their gnawing and noises ?    I know that the first step in solving problems is admitting having them.  but what if they were vague, unclear, like a fog surrounding your heart, blinding your sight, like a tight black blindfold on your eyes, stopping you from placing them ?  what is this all about ?  what is life  about? every time I get  lose to an answer it slips away, like a stream of ...

For a starter, nothing works out the way you plan it. I knew that. One could put the most legit plans in the world, the most calculated steps, the most reasonable rational decisions, they could put a hundred backup plans and tactics. but none of it would work.  I knew it, but it didn't stop me. I also know that feelings are feelings, they can't be planned or scenario-ed. and I knew that it was a possibility; that he'd never think of me the way I think of him.  but I didn't plan this. I could deny my heart all I want, I could overlook those new scratches and act like they're not there, but I was just lying to myself.  one more scar wouldn't matter, I said. I had a collection of them now, all shapes and sizes and colors. one more bruise will only add colors to this this blank lifeless heart in my chest.   I mourn the loss of what I could have had. of the happiness that turned out to be an illusion.   'hide your heart away fro...