Wilted Words

I loved once, and once more, I was brave enough to try, Because there isn't any place where I can hide. He said forever, in each and every day. I'll be here, I'll watch over you, Your demons I'll slay I said I won't ask you to stay forever is just a fault promise That's something I didn't dare to say He said I'll climb up mountains, steep hills, I'll grab the stars I'll smother away your edges, heal your scars, I sighed and mocked him, would you reach for mars ? He laughed and held me, in silence, We watched the passing cars. He said I'll get you coffee every morning, Flowers and chocolates every evening, Till when? I asked, One day it'll lose all meaning, He promised, until out hearts stop beating He shock his head, suppressed a sigh, He asked me to look up at the sky I love you for every flying bird For every passing whisper I ever heard I didn't know how to respond. But to me that never accord That this...

I find myself thinking a lot lately. I'm absent-minded almost all the time, which isn't a very good sign. I think about nothing in particular, and everything in general. everything seems remote these days. like I'm over-viewing my life from a vantage point. like I'm watching everything from a safe distance. and the worst thing about this nothingness is that I don't even know how it consumed me, how I became so numb and lifeless. how can I feel full with the void stretching within ? how can I feel whole again with the black hole inside me, swallowing whatever feelings left in me? I'm  nothing but doubt, confusion and curiosity. I'm floating without a destination in the stormy sea. the Surging waves are throwing me in all directions, the fierce tides are keeping me away from the shore, and I'm all over the place, I'm lost without guidance. I'm full with love that no one wants, it stagnated in my heart, it turned into murky hat...

It's 3 am in the morning. and I'm tangled in my cold sheets, wide awake, staring at the empty wall before me. I can't sleep. and it's not because I had caffeine or that I slept during the day, no. it's because of you. it's your shy smile, the glint in your eyes, and the 3 syllables you told me, syllables I didn't know before. it's magical how 3 simple words could change you as a whole, how it can draw a smile in your face each now and then during the day just by thinking about them , how it can make your heart expand, fill it with sunshine and rainbows and feelings you can't comprehend that it no longer fits in your chest. it's like having the universe inside you, you wouldn't know emptiness. and love, I think, is like sky diving. you could be terrified before you jump because you're taking huge risks, but you still want to do it, and try what it feels like. and then when you take the leap, you feel the world in your hands, as...

to me, I loved myself once, before society told me it was wrong to love myself if I didn't fit the mold they made, and lived up to their criteria. I loved myself once. because back then, my worth was beyond my weight, much more than my grades, and I was much more than my bitten finger beds and more than the bags under my eyes. I remember how proud I was, how happy and comfortable I was in my own skin, but now those bones are too stiff, I can't get them to move without aching me, I became a prisoner in my own corpse. I'm a guilty criminal, my deadly crimes were wrong first impressions. and as it seems, those felonies are never forgiven, never forgotten. no matter how charity and community service I'd do, they're just not enough, to make them overlook my faults. I loved myself once, before I started over-thinking every move I make, and every word I say, and every friendly approach I offer. I loved my spontaneous actions, I loved having the green card...

I want everyone to leave me alone, I am afraid I would seep glimpse of my darkness into them, I am afraid that my murky soul will ooze out, creating a mess that I won't be able to contain, stay away, it is no one's job to fix what's already deformed in me. it isn't anyone's fault, that my heart was fractured repeatedly into million fragments, that it's no longer capable of anything but pumping blood into my veins. yet I tried, I tried so hard to put it back together, but I couldn't, a lot of the pieces were missing, gone. I will push anyone who comes near me, I will build my walls high, hide in a tour of concrete solitude and nothingness. I will keep it out of sight within a maze of poisoned accusations and doubts and guarded by a dragon, innervated by the lies I fed. Run away and save yourself, because I have lots of fears, but what scares me the most is that my inchoate defective heart is never going to be enough for anyone. I am living in ...

You’re wonderful, full of life, like the sky at dusk.  And I’m so dark and scattered, like the sky at night. You’re whole, forever shining, like the sun, full of warmth and honest promises.  And I’m shattered into millions of cold lost stars. I’ll always be here, waiting for a miracle, I’ll wait for the day our orbits collide. our own big bang Creating a new world.  A whole universe, just for the two of us. I’ll leave all my insecurities out of our atmosphere. And I’ll burn all your doubts before they shoot in. A universe where pain don’t exist, neither mortality. We’ll live for millions of years. Just me and you. I know it seems impossible, especially with hundreds of light years stretching between us. But I promise, I’ll always keep your rays with me, I’ll keep them locked within me, until our Nebula starts existing. 

a rose and a thron. two things that never grow apart. the rose so beautiful,and so delicate. and the Thron so sharp, and so harmful. you can't have one without getting the other, just like a person. we look at people, and wee see features, we see professions, we see back stories. we see first wrong impressions, we see what we want. we don't see beyond our noses, or beyond the stories we hear. we don't listen to more than a few words before we think it's enough to judge a person. People are magnificent creatures. God crated us perfect, nevertheless we can't actually see it-or we don't want to see it- we don't want to see more than our imperfections. we are able to swim although we don't have gills, that we can fly, although we don't have wings. and that we can imagine, build futures and stories and weave art and make magic. and dream. we're capable of lots of things.  human power is unlimited. that nothing could stop...