Wilted Words

You’re wonderful, full of life, like the sky at dusk.  And I’m so dark and scattered, like the sky at night. You’re whole, forever shining, like the sun, full of warmth and honest promises.  And I’m shattered into millions of cold lost stars. I’ll always be here, waiting for a miracle, I’ll wait for the day our orbits collide. our own big bang Creating a new world.  A whole universe, just for the two of us. I’ll leave all my insecurities out of our atmosphere. And I’ll burn all your doubts before they shoot in. A universe where pain don’t exist, neither mortality. We’ll live for millions of years. Just me and you. I know it seems impossible, especially with hundreds of light years stretching between us. But I promise, I’ll always keep your rays with me, I’ll keep them locked within me, until our Nebula starts existing. 

a rose and a thron. two things that never grow apart. the rose so beautiful,and so delicate. and the Thron so sharp, and so harmful. you can't have one without getting the other, just like a person. we look at people, and wee see features, we see professions, we see back stories. we see first wrong impressions, we see what we want. we don't see beyond our noses, or beyond the stories we hear. we don't listen to more than a few words before we think it's enough to judge a person. People are magnificent creatures. God crated us perfect, nevertheless we can't actually see it-or we don't want to see it- we don't want to see more than our imperfections. we are able to swim although we don't have gills, that we can fly, although we don't have wings. and that we can imagine, build futures and stories and weave art and make magic. and dream. we're capable of lots of things.  human power is unlimited. that nothing could stop...

Somehow you will always be here, As if you have never left. the pain is still here, alongside with your memory.  the sense of your presence is not enough, it's always here, but it's never enough... I can kneel at your grave for hours and cry, but it's nothing compared to the strength you gave me whenever I cried in front of you. I can stare at your pictures for hours, but I will never see your eyes staring back at me, unraveling me, turning me inside out.   it's worthless, it's not the same. I can't hold you any more, I can't feel your warmth creep into me, I can't feel your presence shining like the only star that ever was.  I'm deprived of all those things now, and sometimes it feels like it's more than I can tolerate.  I run away to my dreams, that is the only place where I can enjoy our stolen moments...where I can touch your hands and they feel so real... I can see you smiling warmly at me, telling me everything will be alr...

Dear Love, although I don't know if I should call you love anymore, Sorry, I'm sorry. you hated it when I apologized without a reason, but I guess that's the only thing I can do, the only thing I'm excellent at, being sorry. this time I'm apologizing for the right reasons, I'm sorry I ever loved you. do you remember that time when we talked how people always hurt each other despite their feelings? you said that everything is justified if it was done for the right reasons. It's all about intentions.  that's what you said. No matter how wrong the deed was, it's okay if it was for the right reasons. I wish I knew what were your intentions when you hurt me. What good was behind treating me like I was the only star in your ever dark sky, and then leaving? maybe I'm an idiot because I can't see beyond the pain and the emptiness, maybe I'm a fool because I still want to believe that you never meant to hurt me even when you did. m...

I don't believe in miracles or myths, but I'm desperate for one now. I'm not sure how you're suppose to work, but I'm taking my chances. For all I know that you help people to get rid of nightmares. Even if you're just a fable, try to make an exception for me. I want you to hinder my nightmares, to defeat my demons, don't allow them to hunt my dreams, and chase me in the long nights. Don't let them visit me in the only hours of peace. I want you to help me sleep soundly, to help my mind rest and drift to oblivion. I'm tired of waking up with black bags under my eyes, I'm tired of waking up feeling more weary than I did before going to bed. I don't want to see my fears anymore, I want you to bury them somewhere deep in my mind so they will never seep into my dreams anymore. I want you to lock them up in a a wooden broken chest and throw the key somewhere I won't remember. I want you to drown them in poison, suffocate them before th...

Along with many things, I don't know how start anything, I am not good at beginnings. Starting a simple conversation with a stranger, for an Example. relationships too. that applies also to feelings. somehow I find myself trapped like a fly in a spider's net. I don't know any scientific explanation for these things either, feelings, how they work, how they start, and why. For all I know is that a smile from my next door neighbor leaded us into a solid sisterhood where we ended up exchanging our deepest secrets with complete transparency. That One day I talked to a stranger who suddenly occupied a space of me I never anticipated to give. That somehow, I became less trusting, more cautious, and extremely protective of my heart. Feelings, I think, work in a mysterious way. We think we have control over them, but we don't. Love, hatred, regret, happiness, depression, self-loathing and confidence. All those things, at some level are what form us, what makes us make dec...

Self discovery. That's something we all underwent. It's something that we claim to know and understand. knowing who you are, that's what we all think that we've already achieved in the process of growing up. but the truth is; that we are lying, mostly fooling ourselves before anyone else. we went through our teenage years without any crisis', we know exactly what we want, what we need, what our dreams are and we're constantly trying to pursue them. But also we're wrong. have you ever felt like your whole world is falling apart ? like a huge iceberg appeared in your way drowning your Titanic?  that the castle that you've been building for years is nothing but a sheer of glass that could be shattered by a blow of a wind ? that you no longer know what you actually want, what you're really craving for? we all went through this at some point. Self discovery is a journey, our parents tried to put our feet on the beginning of the way, help us take ...