Wilted Words

Self discovery. That's something we all underwent. It's something that we claim to know and understand. knowing who you are, that's what we all think that we've already achieved in the process of growing up. but the truth is; that we are lying, mostly fooling ourselves before anyone else. we went through our teenage years without any crisis', we know exactly what we want, what we need, what our dreams are and we're constantly trying to pursue them. But also we're wrong. have you ever felt like your whole world is falling apart ? like a huge iceberg appeared in your way drowning your Titanic?  that the castle that you've been building for years is nothing but a sheer of glass that could be shattered by a blow of a wind ? that you no longer know what you actually want, what you're really craving for? we all went through this at some point. Self discovery is a journey, our parents tried to put our feet on the beginning of the way, help us take ...

All These unwritten vows were broken, all the promises we made not to hurt each other were just words we said. All what we've been through was nothing, meant nothing,  we were not ready for these battles, and not prepared to face all these obstacles. All our feelings are gone now, vanished. Maybe they're still in here somewhere, but all of that doesn't matter... We lost all what we thought we had, nothing went wrong, yet everything changed, and it ended in a blink of an eye. You owe me what you became, and I owe you all the good memories I have. Once you meant the world to me, but now, to me you're just a phantom, just a ghost of my past.

I've always heard this sentence " Life is too short, so enjoy it and try to make the most of it."   and  I've never really realized what it meant till lately. I've lost so many people, in different ways, death, distance, problems, and sometimes there wasn't a rational reason... maybe the ways were different, but the pain was always the same ... I tried to push people away, and live alone, being alone is better than getting hurt,after all,  that didn't work for me... but again isn't that the meaning of life? to love and lose, to be happy and suffer? this is how things go with everyone.. We only live once, but if we live it right, it'll be more than enough. We all should live it the way we want to, defending what we believe in, doing what we think is right.  Never be afraid of telling you're family that you love them... don't be shy to show people whom you care about how important they are to you..dream ...

This is my first blog. I always thought that I have the ability to write, it all started at elementary school, where writings homework were more than just that for me, I always spent extra time on them.  I thought I can put words in the right phrases and terms...and explain things from a normal teenager point of view. I know that I'm just a plain girl, an anonymous, who's trying to find out who she is...her true identity, to distinguish the parts of herself, and identify which ones are truly her and which parts she was forced into. I'm not sure about my writing skills, not yet. Despite of my friend's encouragements.Not many people told me I'm a good writer, I still doubt myself. And it was never enough for me, to live without a voice, even when I find it hard to live up to my own expectations. Before I start this blog ,I thought about it million times... I hesitated a lot ... I thought I won't impress anyone, or no one would like what I...